Do Not Be Where the Problem Is
Conflict seems to be part of our daily life experience whether we seek it or not for interpersonal relationships can be beautifully fulfilling or painfully tortuous. Hiding at home only encourages internal conflict for we are driven to interact with others for we are social beings.
The first rule of self-defense is “Do not be where the problem is.” This has many meanings and is a layered principle. The first layer is to be alert to your surroundings evaluating the geography and the people. When we first encounter an individual, we engage in a layered threat assessment. Is it safe to walk on the same side of the street; is it safe to stand next to them, is it safe to speak with them, is it safe to share personal data with them, is it safe to intensify the level of intimacy with them? Our responses to these quarries will determine our actions.
It is always more cost effective to be proactive versus reactive. Decide your goal before engaging in any interaction. You can then focus on what it is that you really desire and evaluate the outcome of your actions to determine if your path requires change. Reactions are usually primitive responses that we later regret. Proactive behavior enables us to focus and clear in our choices, actions and words. Most people are drawn to a determined, focused individual because that individual is confident, accepting of themselves and has a direction in life. We are attracted because we desire acceptance and a direction in our own lives.
Copyright © 2016 Dr. MarcAndré Bock. All Rights Reserved.